


I think I could fall madly in bed with you

by Neutralchaos



Series: Drabbles and prompts [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M, Second-Hand Embarrassment, two (2) awkward bystander goons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 04:40:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18087626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neutralchaos/pseuds/Neutralchaos
Summary: “Is this flirting? Are they flirting or threatening each other? I can’t tell anymore. Hate flirting? Is that a thing?”





	I think I could fall madly in bed with you

**Author's Note:**

> I would blame my discord chat 100% for this but who are we kidding? This is entirely on brand for me

“Oh, no... Oh, fuck me no. Who the hell put Rollins and Rumlow on the same goddamn shift?” The poor technician lamented into his hands, before looking at the little corner he carved out for himself and wondering how hard he could bash his head into the cheap desk to knock himself out. 

“What’s the big issue? They’re a good team.” one of the new(er) recruits remarked leaning against wall picking at his fingernails absently. “Effective leaders, I mean, Rollins looked my way once during training and I swore my life flashed before my eyes. And I wasn’t even the reason he was looking that wa-... What?” Noticing the watery glare being directed his way, he cuts off. 

“You’re new here, aren’t you.” is not the statement he expects to be levelled his way. The underlying _you absolute moron_ goes unsaid as the tech is making his way to the nearest exit. “It’s every man for himself! If you don’t have the good sense to get out while the getting is good, well… I hope you got a good therapist lined-”

The sudden silence causes the recruit to turn his attention in that direction and watches both Rollins and Rumlow stalk in with the tech scurrying in front while trying to desperately cover his ears. 

“Jeez, look at this fucker. Trying to skip out on his duties, must be nice.” He hears the Commander drawl lazily, “Alright, gimme the rundown.” Rumlow barks at them both before taking the only other chair and setting himself down roughly as he gets the sitrep. 

\-------

It’s been quiet for the last hour before the recruit hears “You're so cute, When you do your hair like that, I wanna lock you up in my basement. Naked.” and see’s the Commander smirk slightly, lick his lips and….

“Yeah well, that shirt's real becoming on you… but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.” 

“Oh fuck my life… it’s only been an hour…” He can hear muttered desparingly from the corner as he inches his way over there. “What. Is going on?” He whispers right before he hears Rollins growl, “I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going into you tonight.”

“Is that so,” He watches The Commander tilt his head back and run his tongue over his upper lip, “Well, in that case, you look much more beautiful close up than you do through my telescope.”

‘This,” the technician hisses, “is what happens when they’re put on the same shift and there’s nothing to shoot.” before he covers his ears again and mutters “of all the fucking days to leave my headphones at home…”

“Aw, that’s adorable. Speaking of... you remind me of my pinky toe.” Rollins says leaning his massive frame down, until his face is what looks to be in the same breathing space as Rumlow’s, “You're small, cute, and I'm going to be banging you on my coffee table later tonight.” 

“I can’t fucking wait to take you home and see your face distorted with pain.” Rumlow growls. 

“Is this flirting? Are they flirting or threatening each other? I can’t tell anymore. Hate flirting? Is that a thing?” the recruit whispers, mostly to himself as his companion for The most Awkward shift looks like he’s about to use his desk as a weapon on himself. 

“My face? Baby, I last longer than a white crayon.” 

“ Are they aware that we’re still here?” The recruit asks shrilly, voice cracking slightly as each word comes out, “Seriously. The room is not that big.”

“God, I fucking love you more than my jar of fingers” They hear Rumlow say as he reaches up, grabs the long hairs at the back of Rollins' neck and _yanks_. 

For a few blessed moments there’s silence, both technician and recruit looking at each other hopefully, maybe they’ve clued finally clued into the fact that they’re not alone. 

“You what,” Rollins says, his voice almost awed sounding.

“I said I made you a blood painting!” They hear the commander say quickly, trying to loosen his fingers from where they’ve become tangled in hair. “No you didn’t.” they hear Rollins say before yanking the commander out the chair and pulling him towards the door

“Come on. I’ve got a backseat with your name on it. Gonna drag you home and make it so you’ll be too bruised to leave.”

Both of their awkward bystanders stay there for a few moments before the technician reaches under his desk and pulls out a large bottle of gin. technician

“If you want some, you better find a glass and sit your ass down.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me Tumblr and Twitter as neutralchaos1!


End file.
